Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ins't or Ous't: Mansion

It's the return of everyone's favorite feature Ins't or Ous't, where we tackle the state of New York City nightlife establishments and decide whether they are worth your time. It's about effing time.

Place: Mansion
Neighborhood: Chelsea
Status: Ous't

It's only been three days since this club opened, not even to the public mind you, and we are already declaring it dunzo. Why? First of all, it's open in a dying nightlife neighborhood. And second, we have still not heard one positive thing about it. So today, we bring you 2 reports that re-confirm that this place is over and ous't. According to Little Birdy #1,

Two rooms. Smaller one in baroque styling, pool table?!!, carpeted- waiting to envelope the smell of spilt, sticky drinks in weeks to come. Glass enclosed walls of flame, one located in the passageway between the two rooms which makes for an overheated tunnel. Notice the flames unevenly tempering off ? That’s what happens when you use those gel cans. The upstairs library is weird- the books look out of place. Can you tell it’s too many unfocused ideas implemented into one place? The random acts were, well, random. The choir throws off the mood. You half expect a kanye-like perfomance, but then again, this isn’t the Natural History Museum, haha. There were sheet acrobats in Britney wigs and a girl dressed in lights and spewing sparks into the crowd. These random acts are nothing like the tricks at The Box. It seemed circa 1999. But hey, I enjoyed the top-shelf open bar!
If this is as good as you can get for your opening talent line up, then we thinks there be a problem. Stay tuned for Part II.