Flyer Follies: Baby Buys A Mansion

It's Tribeca Film Festival week. That's why we are shifting our attention to the Broadway adaption of John Waters Cry-Baby. Not our cup of tea, but the party is at Mansion, which isn't our cup of tea either. Oh well.

Mansion: Definitely Definitely Ous't

It was just six weeks ago that we basically declared Mansion to be ous't. Some disagreed. But we stand by our call. After a few months, the proof is now in the pudding. A very tall Little Birdy passed along this once in a lifetime offer from the fine folks from TONY, which proclaims:

We know. The weekend's just ended, but you're already thinking about your next night out.

Luckily, TONY Nightlife+ is here to help you in the planning. The free service brings Time Out New York listings and more to your mobile device. We're giving away 200 spots on the guestlist for the new ultra lounge Mansion New York (530 W 28th St between 10th and 11th Aves) this Thursday, April 3 with free admission for 100 lucky TONY Nightlife+ users and a friend. Just sign in or join TONY Nightlife+, then click the link to add Mansion to your favorite venues by Wednesday at noon.

Plus, start adding friends to your profile and you'll automatically be entered into a competition to win one of five copies of the new "Sessions" double CD by legendary DJ and Detroit-based techno producer Carl Craig. The more friends you add by Wednesday, the more chances you'll have to win.

All winners will be notified on Thursday morning.

We don't know how anyone who enters can wait until Wednesday to find out if they won. Long Island and North Jersey's ERs are on alert, waiting for noth the winners and the losers. No offense to Time Out (who we love!), but seriously, this ultra lounge/danceateria/whatever has only been open a few months and is already resorting to magazine promotions. Not good. Not good at all.

Stick a fork in it. Mansion is Ous't.

Mansion: Not so Terrible?

Hold the phones! Has everything we've heard so far about Mansion been wrong? Can it possibly be the "force capable of leading clubdom to a new era." A Little Birdy reports:

I went on Saturday night, in short it was not as horrible as I might have otherwise thought. Due to the sheer size of the space to fill it up they cannot be particularly discerning with who they let in so it ended up being a mix of a reasonably good crowd combined with a lot of bridge and tunnel. Seemed like two worlds clashing, but everyone was in good spirits and the somewhat silly decor was easy to overlook. The venue did eventually get packed circa 1 - 2 AM. I think the place will do well enough, (it's an upgrade from the sad state Crobar was in anyhow) if only as a fall-back for people who cannot get into the smaller venues on club row.

Well, that's the best independent review we've seen so far, and it still doesn't come across as the Per Se of nightclubs. Maybe given some time, this puppy has a chance at success.

Ahoy Mr. Lewis

We would like to give a hearty welcome to Goonight Mr. Lewis, a new nightlife blog run by nightlife guru Steve Lewis. You know, the guy that ran Life back in the day. Anyway, Stevie says "I will tell you what happened then, what's happening now, and what will happen tomorrow. I will make sure your night is done right." Fascinating. He is off to a huge start, running some sort of interview with the folks behind the already ous't Mansion, saying "This crew has enough energy to ensure success. In my humble opinion they are a force capable of leading clubdom to a new era."

Well, according to a Little Birdy who was there this weekend, this new era is going to be defined by lameness. Our LB says, "Was at Mansion over the weekend. The place is poorly designed, 75% empty, filled with ugly talent, and has fat girls in spandex hanging off the ceiling. Mark Baker himself came by our table to chat us up. Very creepy. I give this place 4 months." And that's that.

Back to the point, we welcome Steve Lewis into our realm. May the best blog win.

Ins't or Ous't: Mansion Part II

The exciting conclusion of our very special 2 part series, Ins't or Ous't. Well, what are waiting for? Nothing.

So our first few Little Birdies really didn't have much fun at Mansion. But maybe the crowd was super exclusive and made you feel privileged to be inside? Or maybe not. According to our final Little Birdy, "This is perhaps redundant, but the "private party" was no more than an invitation to anyone on the not so exclusive asmallworld. With over 300,000 members now that is hardly what constitutes a private party (although probably a more reliable way to entice us banker types, if only marginally more so than MySpace)." We know that the space is huge, but having to sell your exclusive opening weekend, during Fashion Week no less, is simply bad news. If this were publicly listed, we would be dumping shares like crazy. But it's just a club, so expect the vulture promoters to step in and fill this place with _______ (fill in blank).

That's why we can officially stamp Mansion: Ous't.

Ins't or Ous't: Mansion

It's the return of everyone's favorite feature Ins't or Ous't, where we tackle the state of New York City nightlife establishments and decide whether they are worth your time. It's about effing time.

Place: Mansion
Neighborhood: Chelsea
Status: Ous't

It's only been three days since this club opened, not even to the public mind you, and we are already declaring it dunzo. Why? First of all, it's open in a dying nightlife neighborhood. And second, we have still not heard one positive thing about it. So today, we bring you 2 reports that re-confirm that this place is over and ous't. According to Little Birdy #1,

Two rooms. Smaller one in baroque styling, pool table?!!, carpeted- waiting to envelope the smell of spilt, sticky drinks in weeks to come. Glass enclosed walls of flame, one located in the passageway between the two rooms which makes for an overheated tunnel. Notice the flames unevenly tempering off ? That’s what happens when you use those gel cans. The upstairs library is weird- the books look out of place. Can you tell it’s too many unfocused ideas implemented into one place? The random acts were, well, random. The choir throws off the mood. You half expect a kanye-like perfomance, but then again, this isn’t the Natural History Museum, haha. There were sheet acrobats in Britney wigs and a girl dressed in lights and spewing sparks into the crowd. These random acts are nothing like the tricks at The Box. It seemed circa 1999. But hey, I enjoyed the top-shelf open bar!

If this is as good as you can get for your opening talent line up, then we thinks there be a problem. Stay tuned for Part II.

First Responder: Mansion Pt II

Now, the exciting conclusion of our First Responder report from Mansion, the Opium Group's newest club built right here in our fair City.

After getting the first update from our Little Birdy, we couldn't help but wonder why they were sellin bottle services when we had been hearing all week that the club wasn't open to the public this weekend? We posed the question to our LB, who quickly responded:

I thought about that one too. Obviously, they played it up as a private event, saw some people w invites who got right in, but inside were some familiar faces who I knew that also got in via the line. I had 12 ppl w me and the bottle prices were in the ice buckets. . . it is not the intimate ultra lounge they say it is. The cocktail waitresses were overwhelmed covering, 5-6 tbls and they clearly packed in as many ppl as they could. The "upstairs vip" area was no more exclusive than the rest of the place. All in my group felt the sheer size of the place will dissuade people who attend places like Gold Bar, Pink, Cain etc. Truth be told, other than the ball-like chandeleirs and some fire flames burning behind glass (like a miami club I forget) it isn't much different than Crobar was.

Well, that's not a good sign. First weekends and soft opens are never easy, but we assumed that these folks would be able to hit the ground running. Guess not.

First Responder: Mansion

Below, Part I of our First Responder report from Mansion.One of our more frequent Little Birdy's was on hand for Mansion's big opening weekend and reports:

Was at mansion last night for their " private " party. Took a table with some friends and a slew of girls. They seemed to be allowing people in w/o invites but I could be wrong. Never saw spice girls, but they did have a gospel choir at 1230. Made no sense. Sat in upstairs VIP area, 8 ppl, 3 btl minimum. Place is too cavernous, lacks the vip area that Mansion Miami has and the crowd was not as exclusive. I guess you have to compromise to fill a space this large. Music was not great, place was empty by 3am. Lots of available tables.

A 3 bottle minimum in this economic climate is bold. Maybe 3 bottles of Amstel Light? Heh.

Keys to the Mansion

Get ready everyone, Mansion is set to open with a weekend full of Fashion Week parties to get your Chelsea nightclub juices flowing again. A Little Birdy provides a bit of intel, saying "seems fridays opening is by invite only....public opening feb 14..how romantic" Romantic indeed. UrbanDaddy provides some additional color, saying "The real show, however, goes down in the main room, dubbed The Grand Ballroom. To add a jolt of fun and spontaneity to the big bottle-box formula, random acts will be brought in from all corners of the globe for spontaneous send-ups. " Wow, random acts! We love it. Excuse while we go get in line for opening night.

The Mansion is Built

It looks like the finishing touches are being put on Mansion, Chelsea's newest clubtacular, from Miami's Opium Group. Our friends at Grub Street have the press release details, saying:

It will have the feel of forties Hollywood, with personal granite dance platforms at each Pucci-fabric sofa, a 20-foot enclosed fireplace, and three separate lounge areas. The interior isn’t yet photo-ready (we’re the first to run this rendering), but we’re dying to see the “Cougar Room,” a chicks-only den with hairdressers, makeup artists, sex toys, and girlie drinks by mixologist Gregory Selder.

How over the top! How gimmicky! How Clubtacular! It looks like the even included those tables they require for success. We look forward to opening night.

OMG! Mansion is Coming to NYC

Guess what everybody? Apparently the Opium Group has taken over the old Crobar space and is going to open an NYC outpost of Mansion, their still going Miami hotspot. At least that's what new to the game pagesix.com reported over the weekend. Too bad the yet to be relevant gossip site wasn't reading DBTH back in April and May, when we broke the news. We do give them props for the Eric Milon picture - he's looking fit.

Opium Group's Plan for Success

It seems there couldn't be a worse time to open a club on 27th Street. But that hasn't stopped some of Miami's hottest shots from setting their sites on West Chelsea to make their grand entrance on the scene. Remember, Mansion is coming to the old Studio Mezmor space. If New York's biggest nightlife players are ready to abandon ship, why does Eric Milon and the Opium Group think that they will be successful? It turns out they have a genius plan. Says our Miami Birdy, "they believe that if they put the tables for bottle service on the massive dance floor, they will have another Mansion hit." Tables on the dance floor? Ah, tables on the dance floor! We get it. We so get it. Can we also make a suggestion to increase profits? Here goes. What about charging at the door? That way people pay to come in and pay for drinks. Look out J.P. Morgan, we think we have our next billionaire.